Melvin Dexter Benham Obituary

1943-2026

The fourth son of Reverend Wilber Moore Benham and Ellene Minida Chesnut, Melvin Dexter Benham passed away April 30, 2026 at the Applewood Care Memory Care Home in Wheat Ridge, Colorado. Although as an adult, he preferred to be known as Melvin, he will always be Dexter to his family. Several years ago, Dexter had been struck with Meiges Syndrome, a rare disease attacking the muscles in his head, especially his eyelids and neck muscles. He also suffered from cancer and dementia.

Dexter was born November 14, 1943 in Chickasha, Oklahoma where he joined his three older brothers, Wayne, Charles and Drexel. Since Dexter’s father was a Methodist pastor, the family moved around often. Dexter attended school in Merino, Colorado, Cheyenne Wells, Colorado and Rye, Colorado where he graduated from high school as valedictorian of his class in 1962. Dexter attended the University of Colorado on a scholarship where he earned his Bachelors degree in mathematics. After college Dexter worked as a mathematician for the Naval Surface Warfare System in Dahlgren, Virginia for 46 years where he earned many awards and developed his Slide Rule program which was used specifically on naval fleet radar systems.

In 1966 Dexter married Roberta Rae Shreves in Rye, Colorado. As they were cutting their wedding cake, his three-year-old niece, Tamie sang Happy Birthday to the happy couple. They were blessed with two children, Adrian and Michelle. He later married Melvena Lee Beek Stephani who brought four children into Dexter’s family, Alicia, Heather, Ralph and Amanda. His step granddaughter, Rebekah says that “Papa [grandpa] was more than a papa, he was a father figure.”

Alicia agrees, saying “he did his best to take in stepchildren and treat them lovingly with care and kindness. He was generous as well as kind. At one point I had money problems and he loaned me some money. When I attempted to pay him back, he would not accept my money which really touched me. After he got sick, he called me a lot. I felt he really cared and thought a lot of me. He made me feel that I was his daughter, not just a stepdaughter. My best memory of him is his laugh.”

Michelle added that while her father was “a mathematician and computer programer at heart, he loved solving puzzles and carried a dry sense of humor. That wit came through in the stories and jokes he loved to tell – and often retell – becoming a familiar rhythm of family life that brought more than a few amused eye rolls and many lasting memories. He showed his love through consistency and responsibility, providing for his family and being present in his own unmistakable way. He will be missed.”

When Dexter was still a baby, he was adopted into the Comanche tribe under Chief Lee Motah in Oklahoma. He was given the name Little Buffalo, the Comanche translation the family was given is Akah Goodah.

When Dexter was 5 or 6 years old, He and his brother, Drexel were playing cowboys and Indians in the garage. They decided they needed a campfire, so they built a campfire. Then they realized they were going to get in trouble, so they started fanning their fire with gunny sacks, which caused the fire to spread. Then they went to tell their mother, who didn’t believe them until she looked out the window and saw the fire, then she screamed.

When Dexter was about 14, he and his friends were experimenting with rockets. Their rocket launch in his bedroom unexpectedly blew up damaging the ceiling of his bedroom and injuring one of his friends. The story made it to the front page of The Denver Post. Dexter was upset they put the wrong chemical compound in the story. His father, who was in a church meeting at the time, during which they were determining if they wanted to keep Pastor Benham longer, asked Dexter if he wanted to continue living in Rye.

Dexter enjoyed running marathons, including the Boston and Marine marathons as well as many shorter runs. He also enjoyed playing chess, including having Chess tournaments at his house, and being challenged by Alan P. Rufty, who was a gifted chess player who competed in chess tournaments in Virginia and North Carolina. In the years 1996-2000, Alan competed in seven tournaments, wherein he competed in two championship matches with a win in one and a draw in the other.

Dexter was 69 years-old when he retired from his job with the Navy in 2013. The following year he and his wife, Melvena moved to Florence, Colorado. In his retirement, Dexter enjoyed solving pentominoes puzzles and the Cracker Barrel peg puzzle. He spent much time writing a computer program showing the many ways both puzzles could be solved. During this time, Dexter also enjoyed experimenting with LED lights and lithium ion batteries creating higher voltage power supplies.

Dexter is survived by his ex-wives, Roberta Adair and Melvena Kline, his daughter Michelle Benham, stepchildren, Alicia and Kirk Aikin, Heather and Keith Lee, Amanda and John Prince and Ralph Stephani, 17 grandchildren, and 5 great grandchildren, and many nieces, nephews and cousins. He is preceded in death by his son, Adrian, his parents Wilber Benham and Ellene Chezem, his brothers Wayne and Drexel Benham.

A private Celebration of Life Tea will be held at the home of his brother in Arvada, Colorado July 18, 2026.